i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
