I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
