I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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