How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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