Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
