i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
