It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize
