she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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