i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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