She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
