I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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