i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
well you can't waste a boner
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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