are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
