Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Randomize
