why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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