can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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