wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
