evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
