Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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