i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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