Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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