We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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