I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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