he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
