It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
