god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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