Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
