Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize