this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
