so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
