I wannas sexs uuuuu
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize