ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
