Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I'm at about main and main street
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
