didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize