Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
