it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
He has the fingertips of a God
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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