Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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