let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
