I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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