More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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