Heybabeimwearingurpanties
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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