Small penises have feelings too.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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