hell yes lets make some ravioli
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Send help, water and tortillas.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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