Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
