There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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