so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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