How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
