I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
