yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
he fucked my hip out of place.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
