if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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