I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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