Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
