You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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