I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize