so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize