I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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