he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
