Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
