The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
is wine microwaveable?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
