next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
