I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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