i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
