i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
