We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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