Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize