I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
