butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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