after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
this just has baby written all over it
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize