No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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