guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
