Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
