He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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