What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Randomize
