you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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