i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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