I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
