Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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